Long Days

Now that Chris's hours have changed from 9pm-7am, to 4pm-2am, mine have too. Chris used to wake up around 4:00 in the afternoon and shower then come downstairs and be with the kids while I cook dinner. We would all get to eat together and clean up and head out for an evening walk. Well, now he's up between 10am and 11am, and gets to see Devon as she is getting home from school. He leaves now about 2:45pm. So there really isn't mealtime opportunity because Devon eats at school and Chris eats when he gets hungry.

After one week of this schedule I realized cooking the dinners I used to is pretty much not going to happen because Matthew isn't quite big enough to stay happy by himself that long. So I've been making lots of pasta, and almost homemade pizza. I get credit for putting on my own sauce, cheese and toppings right? This also makes my days seem much longer. I'm definitely more worn out by the time the kids are asleep at 8pm.

I have had one bit of salvation though. My good friend Bridget who lives just around the corner. We hang out most nights walking around the neighborhood, in each others front yards or at our houses, whatever we are in the mood for. It's really been nice having company in the evening. And I really adore her kids. Devon and her three year old are best friends, and on days when we don't catch them after dinner Devon is really bummed.

Chris seems happier with these hours because he's not flip flopping his sleep hours, and that makes me much happier too. But like I said these days seem awfully long now. Let's just look at today.
Wake up at 6:30am
Feed both and dress kids
Get Devon to school on time
Go to the grocery store
Put all the groceries away
Unload dishwasher
Sweep kitchen floor
Clean out litter box
Sweep the cat room
Play and read to Matthew
Bring Matthew to bus stop and get Devon
Feed Matthew lunch
Help Devon with homework
Put Matthew down for a nap
Punish Devon for swinging Xander around
Put Matthew back down for his nap because he never really fell asleep
Put Devon down for quiet time
Watch Twilight with a few interruptions (this is rare)
Let repair man in to fix laundry machine
Kiss Chris goodbye
Do two and a half loads of laundry
Water vegetable plants
Play with kids outside
Make almost homemade pizzas for dinner
Clean kitchen
Reload dishwasher
Take kids for walk
Come home and play a little longer
Bathe both kids
Put Matthew to sleep
Put Devon to sleep
Fold third load of laundry
8:15pm plop into glider and blog

Now I go read until I fall asleep, which should be soon.

It's Over and It Wasn't a Big Deal

So if I can remember correctly I've written three or four whinny, dramatic blogs about the devastation of the idea of weaning or trying to wean or the word weaning. I've made a big hoopla about it and now it's over. Hooray!

Was is torture? Did I have to listen to Matthew screaming in his crib feeling rejected? No and no. I do think it has altered my hormonal state a bit. I seem a bit testy and easily peeved at the opposite gender. I'm not sure why, but I made this observation last night. My neighbor is weaning her boy also, he's only three days older than Matthew, so it's good to have someone to relate to. And yesterday she seemed to be in the same mood as me, so this lead me to believe there is something going on inside us besides lack of milk production.

I finally got inspired to start weaning because when Matthew would latch on a few days ago, he just seemed to be there, not really into the whole drinking thing. Then he chomped down and I said that's it for him. He made it a little over thirteen months, he's fine. So at nighttime and nap time I just bring a cup of milk upstairs with me and we still sit in "our spot" and sometimes he drinks, sometimes he doesn't. Then I take him in his room, kiss him, say "night night" and lay him on his belly. Then I would pat his back until he fell asleep. So for about five minutes or so. But now I don't pat him all the way to sleep, just for a couple of minutes to get him sleepy and he can fall asleep on his own. It's been working great and he doesn't even cry. I'm so lucky to have two kids that have been easy to put to sleep. Yeah me! I did it!

Genetics

I am so fascinated by genetics these days. Not necessarily the heavy scientific jargon, but just the evidence I see watching my two munchkins grow up. Devon and Matthew are so different, yet the same at the same time it's incredible.

Devon was pretty chubby as a baby, but still always managed to stay in the 50th percentile every doctors visit. Matthew started out in the 15th percentile, but has climbed up to the 25th! He's just got little genes, from Chris's side of course.

So if you're reading this, you are very aware of just how often and how many pictures I take of the kiddos. Lately, whenever I take one of Matthew I can almost always think of one from when Devon was the same age and I go back and look at just how much they really do look alike. It's remarkable!!

Here is Devon when she was 12 months old. She was sitting in the azalea garden at SFA, playing with pine needles.

Now here is Matthew at 10 months, in a similar pose, outside playing with leaves. Isn't that awesome! Maybe it's not so much that they look alike, but that I tend to repeat photo shoots with Matthew that I did with Devon. Haha! I am seriously laughing at myself now.

And here is Devon on her first birthday practicing walking for the first time with a push toy. I can still remember that night. She walked back and forth between me and Chris for the longest time and every time she hit an obstacle and couldn't keep going she would just stand there and cry, waiting for us to "make it go again."

And here is Matthew on Christmas day pushing the same kind of push toy. The only difference is that he is two months younger. And that is just a difference in personality. To this day, Devon is still rarely in a hurry. And Matthew, well he just loves trying to keep up with the rest of us.

I am so grateful that I get to spend my days at home with them. I've been doing this for almost five years now and (this is so cliche) it has just flown right by! Next year Devon will be in school all day for kindergarten. Matthew is really going to miss her. I can tell all ready.

Pep Talk

Man, lately I've been struggling. I haven't seen my counselor in over a month and I thought I would be ok with that, but I think I was wrong. And that makes me sad. I don't know what's worse, the label or the sickness. Postpartum depression. Just saying it makes me feel worse, it's such a yucky label.

And to top it all off, Devon is learning how other kids behave and is testing out these new behaviors at home. But then again she is also acting her age, which will be over in a few months and then she will be five. That is such a big age. But I feel like this whole week I have been battling with her over things I know she knows better. Like complaining when it's time to pick up. Or throwing a huge whining fit when it's time to brush her teeth and hair in the morning. And not listening, when I ask her to do something. That's getting pretty old too.

Actually, now that I look at my list of battles, I'm thinking they are very typical for her age and pretty harmless. I've just got to keep telling myself "She's four and overall is very well behaved for her age." I mean right now as I'm typing she is "reading" books to Matthew teacher style where she holds the book out to the side so he can see the pictures too. It's pretty cute. Sadly enough it's these cute little moments that help me get through my days.

So this is my pep talk, because by golly I need one! I'm a kick ass Mom and one hell of a wife. My kids are awesome and all kids have their moments. I'm healthy (well at least physically). And tomorrow I get to go Christmas shopping for the three most important people who adore me. You've got a fantastic life Michelle, and you will get better soon!

Pickles

Well, this has just been a blog writing kinda week, hasn't it?

Since Matthew began crawling around to follow me he has always been excited when I open the refrigerator. I suppose the big bright light and colorful bottles and such are very attractive to an infant.

On the bottom shelf on the door are two water bottles and a jar of pickles for sandwiches/hamburgers. This jar of pickles was like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for Matthew. As soon as he hears me open the refrigerator door he comes racing over and reaches for the pickle jar. Today was no different. I was getting dinner ready (homemade chili!) and I reached in the fridge for garlic, and of course Matthew came rushing over. Well, I didn't get the door shut in time and Matthew was able to once again grab at the jar of pickles. This time, he was successful at knocking it over and when he knocked it over the lid came off with it!

This was extreme excitement for him. He instantly tried to splash in the pickle juice. So I grab him away from the pickle juice spilling everywhere, with the garlic still in my hands and I plop the garlic on the counter and then set Matthew down in the living room. I grab a few hand towels and start cleaning the mess. All the while, I hear Matthew squealing in excitement and rushing back in the kitchen. Chris jumps up to grab him and gets him just in time.

Silly boy. So after a couple of months of grabbing at the pickle jar it apparently slowly loosened the lid. At least that's my explanation, because we honestly haven't used those pickles in a while. Matthew has been the only one to touch them. He's such a nut. So now, after nine months of life, Matthew has a nickname that may or may not last a lifetime. We'll see how long it sticks. But for now, we are definitely calling him Pickles. It's only fare, my parents call Devon Puddin', but she doesn't have a funny story to explain it though.

Everyone says it, and now I'm joining in the chorus that "Boys are definitely different!" I can't help feeling like this may be some sort of "payback" from Chris's childhood, but then that doesn't seem fair because I'm the main one chasing after him. Oh well. I wouldn't trade my little mischievous boy for anything!

The End Is Near

As most of you know, I'm a big advocate for breastfeeding. Even though I'm broken and can only feed on one side. I wanted to go the full recommended 12 months with Devon but only made it to 9 months because I got thrush and Devon weaned herself. I was pretty bummed.

Then Matthew came along and hasn't really had any issues like Devon, so I have been really hopeful about making it all the way to 12 months. Well, here comes a hurdle and boy is it a whopper. I seem to be producing less milk. So I run to the health food store and grab some good ol' Fenugreek. It helps a little but not enough to relish the side effects.

Matthew nurses every two hours, which is no big deal, I'm used to it and I understand that it is because I can only nurse on one side. It's been this way since we brought him home from the hospital. He would still sleep really well at night, having a first sleep stretch last anywhere from 5 to 9 hours. But the last few weeks, he wakes up every two to three hours at night to nurse. Uhg!

At first it wasn't too bad, but now I am really starting to be effected by this. I'm constantly tired and I'm pretty grumpy throughout the day. Not good for the family. Not good for me. So the idea of giving him a bottle of formula keeps being thrown at me and I really tried to resist. But my well-being is continuing to dwindle and I don't want to be a grumpy Mom or grumpy wife for three more months.

Today I tried to give him a bottle right before his afternoon nap. After twenty minutes of resistance by Matthew I was pooped and caved into nursing him (actually us) to sleep. Then tonight I tried again to give him a bottle to put him down. Still lovingly holding him close and rocking him, but still he resisted. He finally just passed out without drinking anything.

So now I am consumed with guilt. I feel like I just starved the kid and it just doesn't feel right to wean him while he's kicking and screaming (literally). What's a mom to do (*sob*)?

Bed Time Schmed Time

Well, today was exciting! It was very chilly and it was a Saturday which means Farmers Market day, Hooray!! My favorite. We get out there and it is so windy that most of the vendors took down their canopies, but I wasn't worried because we were all bundled up.

Matthew had on two pairs of socks, sweat pants (that are huge on him!), a onesie, a sweatshirt, a beanie, and he was snugglied to me with a blanket over him. We were warm. Devon was sporting her new coat I bought on Friday while she was in school. I'm so proud of myself for paying attention to the weather forecast and snagging a coat before they were all gone.

So we walked around and got the veggies we will need for next weeks meals and had some lunch. Then we headed over to the library for new kid books and cook books. I'm two pages away from starting on spiral number three for all my recipes. Then back to home. It was almost one by the time we got home and we were all pretty pooped. I made some grilled cheese, since we ate lunch at 10:30 like Devon is used to doing at school and then Matthew was ready for his afternoon nap.

I popped in Cars and we all snuggled on the couch. Matthew was the first one asleep, nursing knocks him out quick when he's tired, then me and at some point Devon even fell asleep. It was cute! I woke up at the end of the movie to both my sweeties sleeping on me. It was heaven. But I knew I would have to wake them up. It was 4:15 and if they nap too late, then they won't got to bed. So we woke up and then went to wake up Chris.

Tonight I went out on a limb and made something I wasn't sure Devon would like at all. I made crunchy chicken and blackbean tacos. Turns out if you put anything in a crunchy taco shell, Devon will eat it eagerly!! I'll store that bit of info for future meals. Every bite she took, she dramatically mmmhed. It was great.

So now, it is 8:30 and while I should be having quiet Mommy time, Devon is now hanging out in the living room reading her knew library books because she is not tired. Big surprise there! So I'm going to join her on the couch and read her the new books until 9:00 and then I will have to put my foot down for bed time. It's ok to fudge the rules from time to time, it's all for the love of reading!

Oh Baby the Places You'll Go

Well, little Matthew is getting dangerously close to being eight months old. Seriously, in four days. He is such an awesome little guy though. Always happy and gives away smiles to anyone who asks. We both hit a big milestone this weekend. He stayed in the church nursery for an hour while I was in Sunday school. And he did really well. I, however, was a nervous wreck, clinching my cell phone in my hand to make sure I didn't miss any vibrations. Luckily I had alot of support from the other moms in the class who knew exactly how I felt.

Also, Matthew is become a little climber and instead of describing his expeditions I will demonstrate it with a montage of pictures. All of these were taken just within the last two weeks.

Here we have Matthew climbing up on the lego table.

Instead of going around the box, he just went over it. Was this the path less traveled?

He absolutely loves climbing over people!

This is definitely my favorite age (of children in general), from now until about two. This is when everything is new and demands exploring. The simplest of objects can become powerfully stimulating. It's just amazing to watch the learning process unfold.

Motherhood Secret #1

If anyone has me as a friend on myspace, you know I LOVE to post pictures of my little bears and I love (almost just as much) to add clever captions. That is when my brain is functioning properly. But sometimes my pictures seem like random moments when they really aren't. Take this picture for instance.

It looks really cute, like perhaps brother bear went sneaking into the cabinet to attack the tupperware. When really I opened it while he was fussing at my ankles while I was cutting up vegetables for whatever I was cooking for dinner. And then ran and got the camera when I saw how cute he was being.

Misleading? Nah. To me it's just another part of motherhood that happened to be camera friendly. I've used the cabinet trick twice now, both times while prepping veggies for dinner because I like to do it in the afternoon. It makes cooking dinner go by a little faster, especially now that I am cooking from scratch more.