Resurrecting the Old Me

So I'm sure none of you can deny that having kids changes you, as well as being married. Unfortunately, it has created some changes in me that are not so good. I have been suffering from post-partum depression. Yep, I'm ready to admit it to the world. (Obviously.) This means I get the opportunity to sit down with a really rad counselor and talk about me, me, me, and sometimes the family.

We, meaning Chris and I, were a little concerned that just counseling would not be enough and that I would need to get on medication. But this would mean I could no longer breastfeed Matthew. Lots of tears were shed over that possibility, let me tell you. Luckily, just having therapy is making a considerable difference. I am started to think and act like I did five years ago. Don't be so scared, I do remember what I was like five years ago and I assure you, I am merely speaking of my more personable characteristics, such as my since of humor, and love of having "moments" with strangers.

For example, Tuesday afternoon I found myself literally struggling to hold my tongue in the waiting room. I so desperately wanted to lean over towards the only other person there waiting and say, "So. What are you in for?" This was a man, who seemed to send off a big "I'm really into myself, and take myself too seriously" vibe. But I managed to refrain and just worked on my sudoku puzzles. It was really tough though.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Michelle! What a horrible thing to do. How immature?" And to that I say, BINGO! Now I KNOW therapy is working. :)

Mmmmmm, Paperbacks

Well, lately I have been devouring books like there is no tomorrow. Just in the past couple of weeks I have read The Educated Child, and The Five Love Languages. This may not sound impressive to some, but don't forget I have an infant connected to me most of the day and an energetic four year old. So there!

Currently, I am reading an awesome book called, The Read-Aloud Handbook. It may sound odd, but yes it is actually about reading out loud. It gives an insane amount of scientific support for reading out loud to your kids. I love it. Jim Trelease you are my hero! He also managed to compile a great treasury of books for different ages. I will easily be using this book for the next ten years or so.

Something Jim talks about in the book is how most children can comprehend listening to books three to fours years above their reading level. While this may sound trivial, it has challenged me to step up the books I read to Devon. I mean she loves her picture books, but we both know almost all of them by heart. So Saturday we ventured to the Austin Public Library and got Devon her very own library card. She was in love! The awe of owning her own library card was enchanting. I picked out a small chapter book, with five chapters to see if Jim was right. And of course, he was. Devon comprehended just as well as a Franklin book. And we have read it about three times a day so far, but that's ok, she's worth it. Next time I'm going to try for one a bit longer. It's like my own little education experiment, mwah ah ah ah.

Now everyone knows Devon has been a book girl from infancy, but the challenge now is to instill the same love of books to Matthew. So far we are off to a good start!

Here is Devon at four months, she was such a little chunker. :D

Here is Matthew, who is now four months old. So far, so good!

Four Months

Well, if you can believe it, because I barely can, Matthew is four months old now. This little boy has really changed my world. Throughout most of my pregnancy I worried and fretted about how I could possibly love another child as much as I love Devon. Devon and I have such a strong bond that just keeps growing. So naturally at the time I didn't know how I could share my love with another.

When I first laid eyes on Matthew, it was love at first sight! It's so bizzar how in an instant my bodies ability to love multiplied. All my worries were thrown out the window and I never looked back. Although I will admit it has been a little tricky learning how to evenly distribute myself, but with kids like these it's totally worth it.Matthew couldn't be any sweeter, and is just waiting for any opportunity to smile. And it's incredible how much Devon loves him too. She is so nurturing in spirit, we just have to help guide her toward more delicate means. I love watching them together because I can really see the love in their eyes, and I know I've got to be doing something right.

Why I Love Being a Mommy

Setting: Chili's Restaurant
Time: Dinner

Me: Is your pizza good Devon?
Devon: Yeah.
*Pause in conversation*
Devon: Mama?
Me: Yes.
Devon: Can I have my pineapples now? I don't want anymore pizza.
Me: Of course!
(Big smile)

You gotta love a kid who craves pineapple instead of pizza. I know I do. :)

Kermit Had It Right

It's not easy being green. For all you outsiders, Austin is a hippie city and the majority of the population strives to reduce its' ecological footprint. We are not the greenest city in the states, I mean who can top Portland? But I would guess we are in the top ten. Now I have always been drawn to environmental issues, and even when I lived in the dorms I took recyclables to the landfill. In Austin the green lifestyle can include anything from only riding a bicycle to get around, recycling almost everything, buying organic/local foods, buying organic clothes, composting, using reusable bags when shopping, and I could go on, but I won't. Any everybody differs in their level of greenness.

As for us:

• we use the recycle service from waste management
• we bring things the curbside won't collect to a recycle service downtown,
• we try to limit our energy usage (our whole house has the swirly light bulbs!)
• we have the energy efficient front loading washer
• we use the reusable grocery bags
• we occasionally buy organic, very occasionally
• we use "green" cleaning chemicals

But compared to the city as a whole we are probably at a level five out of ten, maybe a six. But I have turned into "that person" who grumps whenever someone (no names mentioned, but take a guess) puts a plastic container in the trash. ;) And next spring we will hopefully build our garden in the back yard and I can grow my own veggies, YUM! But first we have to wait for the grass to spread out. It's getting there slowly but surely. A little rain would help though!!

No matter how small

I read a story on MSN about a "miracle baby being born twice." Well, being the baby lover that I am I was naturally drawn to the story. Basically, a woman went to have an ultrasound to find out the sex of her baby and there was a tumor attached to the baby the size of a grapefruit!! She had surgery to have the tumor removed from the baby (the article being politically correct called it a fetus, but I'm not going there). The odds that the baby would survive were less than ten percent. The surgeon cut open the mom then opened the uterus to get to the baby where he took most of the baby out to remove the tumor and then closed everything back up. The baby survived (YEAH!) and ten weeks later was "born again."

Here is the link if you want more details. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24999650/?GT1=43001

This story just blows my mind. Medical technology and knowledge is so grand that we can perform surgery on a baby in the womb! This is simply incredible! And now all I can think of to say is a quote from one of Devon's Dr. Seuss books, "A person is a person, no matter how small." (That's from Horton Hears a Who, thanks Jon and Tina!)

You know many of Dr. Seuss's books have an underlying statement or issue attached to them, such as The Lorax being about deforestation. This starts to make me ponder whether he was trying to touch the issue of child abuse or maybe even abortion. But it is also possible that I have no idea what I am talking about. It's been known to happen from time to time.

Yeah, They're Related

It is pretty obvious that Devon looks alot like me and Matthew like Chris. So tonight after snapping a few pics after Matthews bath I decided to get a three month picture of Devon after a bath too. Well, let's just say they can never deny each other!

This one is Devon at three months.

And this one is Matthew right now at three months.

And one more thing they have in common is LOVE!

Just Like His Daddy

Now I have mentioned my obsession with baby/parenting books, well a couple of them mention that sometimes babies will wake up in the middle of the night to practice a new skill they learned. I thought this was the silliest thing. Devon never did that, and I had never heard another mom speak of this phenomenon either.

Well, it turns out that little Matthew fits into this category. When he first found his hands he woke up one night and would not go back to sleep by nursing or with the binky. He just kept slurping on his hand and then he would get excited and kick and squirm. Mind you this was at three o'clock (random moment: o'clock is one of my favorite words!) in the morning. So out of desperation for sleep I scooted him over a few inches so he wouldn't whack me when he got excited, and I turned my body on auto-snooze. This is when I sleep for 5-10 minute spurts and then wake up to glance at Matthew. It's not the best way to get sleep, but it is better than nothing. And by the way, he stayed awake for an hour doing this!

I know what you're thinking, that was a fluke right. Well, last week he woke up one night rocking from side to side trying to roll on his tummy,which he hadn't accomplished yet. (Did you notice that key word there? Yet.) So I did the same thing, scooted him over a few inches, and went on auto-snooze. Except this time, I hadn't been snoozing more than three minutes when all of a sudden Matthew bumped into me. I opened my eyes to see Matthews eyes wide open and a big drooly grin on his face. He had finally done it. He rolled over on his tummy. He was so proud if himself he celebrated with a nice helping of mommy juice and fell back to sleep. Yesssssss.

This reminds me of Chris because he is the type to keep going until he figures something out. Not even a silly little thing like sleep can stop him.

Crikey!!

The other day I was driving to the grocery store and I saw what I thought was trash blowing in the road. When I came up to it I realized it was a snake over two feet long!! I couldn't help but think of good ol' Steve Erwin, also known as the Crocodile Hunter. If you were a fan of the show like I was (back when I was living on campus and had cable!) then you know that he would always come across these huge snakes while he was conveniently driving around. Who knew that could happen to everyday people, and not just herpetologists.

I was so tempted to spring out of the car and creep over to it just like Steve-o would, but then I remembered the last time I tried to pick up a snake and decided otherwise. I looked in my reptile book to see if I could identify it, but it wasn't in there. It covered reptiles in North America, but obviously didn't have them all. I'm guessing that I would need to look in a Texas reptile book or somebody bought an imported snake and just let it loose when it got too big. That is really common for people to do!

Going Overboard

One of my hometown best friends had her first baby this week. I was so lucky to actually be in Mesquite when it happened. Talk about a cutie-pie! It was awesome to be able to see baby Oliver on the day he was born and to see Becky and Robert with all too familiar expressions on their faces that say, "Thank God the delivery is over. Now what?" I mean it was only a little over four years ago that Chris and I had the same expressions on our faces.

Now before I was pregnant, and even while I was pregnant with Devon I had no idea I would be overcome with the craving for knowledge about everything there is to know about babies.I have a shelf of books on parenting and babies. I feel like I have had almost every breastfeeding problem. Devon had a mild case of colic. We have survived off of one income the whole time, even while I was going to school. I feel like I have this vast store of parental knowledge and anytime I get the opportunity to use it, I go overboard. I don't mean to. And I never realise it until it is too late. I just start firing away everything about breastfeeding and what this and that means. It's frustrating and not to mention embarrassing.

I just love to talk about babies, kids and parenting. I can only hope that it is a good thing, as long as I can control myself. It's funny to think about the fact that I would have never pictured my life the way it is now at age 25. I know there are people out there from back in high school who hear I have kids and think the world is doomed. If only they knew me now....

Teacher's Pet or Teacher's Pain?

Devon will be starting pre-k this August, and she couldn't be more excited. Too bad she doesn't really know how long three months can last, but since summer always seems to go by fast she will be there before we know it. So now that this reality of my baby starting school has set in, I can't help but wonder if all of my kids teachers are going to appreciate my intense concern for my children's education or if they will see me as a pest and worn all the other teachers.

A few weeks ago, I met with a high school friend who I haven't seen since graduation, and she holds a higher disregard for public school than I do. So much that she is homeschooling her little girl who is also four. Now I have to admit there are some pretty tempting advantages to homeschooling. Her little girl is already up to the first grade, because let's face it, when you work one on one you let the child set the pace. You don't have to worry about whether or not a teacher is a child molester. Your kids won't pick up nasty habits from other kids. But then again, you deny your kid the opportunity to make their own moral judgements.

Now don't worry, I'm not going to home school Devon, with her personality she will definitely thrive more in a classroom environment than at home. So this begs the question of whether or not Devon's teacher will be able to handle my constant concern over public school curriculum. Since let's face it, they teach to pass the TAKS. Luckily, I don't have to worry about that battle until Devon is in third grade. I would like to think a teacher would invite any parent who wants to ensure the best for their child. So we will just have to wait and see. But then again, I am the type of person who will go out to the teacher stores and buy my own material to help my kids master a subject/topic that I believe the school isn't doing a good job at. But once again, I say we will just have to wait and see.

I am such a freak about this. It's probably quite sad to most people and I am sure I have passed the point of obsession. I even found a website, www.greatschools.com which is where you can rank your kids school and even leave reviews, this was my favorite part. Devon's elementary school is only in it's second year of operation, but so far it has pretty good reviews. There were only two poor reviews, and one of them said they were pulling their kid and sending them to private school. This worried me a bit, but it is possible that they have standards no public school can meet. Who knows.

So you made it to my blog

I have many forms of internet expression such as myspace, facebook and e-mail, but this is completely different. This is all ME. If you are reading this, then you should know that you are an important part of my life and I hope you can join me on my blogger journey.

This is where I will complain, rant, ramble, create art, release stress, speak my mind, and basically pour my heart out, during those few (but precious) opportunities I get all to myself.