I Mean It This Time

Yowzers!! Has it really been seven months since my last blog? Well, that seems like a long enough sabbatical to me.

Of course, it is the news irritating me that prompted this revival. I'm sure you heard about the new study that has come out linking levels of pesticide in children's urine with ADHD. And if you know me well, then you expected this blog.

First of all, I am by no means any kind of expert on ADHD. I don't know a lick about behavioral psychology. But I did take two statistics classes in college and there is where some of my disgruntledness (I'm sure I made that word up) is coming from.

With that said, the first thing I want to know is who funded this study. There have been instances where industries or organizations have had a special interest in research improving their status in the world. So that is always the first thing I ponder.

Also, I think it is very misleading for this connection to be made when even the news clearly states according to the study that this was not a 100% of the time situation. Knowing that in research this is rare, I still think that if these results were so grand why not give us some numbers? In my ethical bubble, I don't believe it is appropriate to point your finger at a particular variable and say "You are the reason for this!", when there are obviously more pieces to the puzzle.

In my eyes, there are various contributing factors in ADHD. Some may be genetic, which is way beyond my lingo. But mostly I believe it is not just something ingested (but obviously it can factor in, I'm not countering that), but the parental (or lack of) environment that kids are sometimes brought up in. Being raised in front of the tv screen seems like a big one to me.

My logic says, "hmmm this wasn't a big deal fifty years ago, what has changed?" Yes, our diet has changed, not just in the way our food is grown but also the way it is made available (which is the nicest way I can say processed). We are less physically active, and the way we spend our time has changed quite a bit too.

Now I am slowly on my way to being a health nut, emphasis on the slowly. So I completely agree that pesticides (AND processed foods) are a significant factor to many disorders and even diseases. All this is to say, ADHD is complex just like any other disorder. Rarely is there one factor to point your finger at. Always look at research critically. Just because they are doctors and specialists doesn't mean you don't get to think for yourself about these issues. And that is my mean beef with this.

Another Pat on the Shoulder

So I am very proud of myself. Why, you ask. Well in a few weeks Matthew will be one and I will have successfully breastfeed him for his entire first year. Many of you who are not parents are probably not impressed and that's ok. But I am! And so is his pediatrician, because I am a righty only! ;)


When I was pregnant with Devon I read at least a half a dozen baby books (and many more afterward). I was 21, and had no clue what to expect. I remember asking my doctor for recommendations because on most topics they were all the same but with others there seemed to be a divide. None of the authors philosophies really felt right. She told me she loved Dr Sears and had actually met him. So I checked him out and he changed my life.


The man has raised 8 kids who turned out great and he's a pediatrician. And to top it all off, his wife is a midwife. That coupled right there is an impressive combo. And you know what's funny? At the time my OB was married to a pediatrician who was Devon's doctor while we lived in Nacogdoches, just like the Sear's. Crazy.


Thanks to Dr. Sears ideals I was able to comfortably breastfeed Devon, in Nacogdoches of all places. God forbid Devon ever got hungry in public. People would give me dirty looks, and I can remember at least one time someone told me what I was doing was "disgusting." It made me very timid and I just avoided going out except for short periods when I knew she wouldn't get hungry. If she did get hungry I would nurse her in bathrooms, dressing rooms or in my car.
Nursing Matthew has been a much more pleasant experience. I live in a hippie city where it is the norm to breastfeed so many places have areas for nursing. And I can't recall even a negative glance.

Now Devon weaned herself at around nine months. It was a sad time, I was a little disappointed in myself that I didn't go the whole 12 months. So I told myself if I had another kiddo then I would do my best to make it 12 months. Well, Matthew has made this too easy because except for a couple of bottles in his very early months he has refused formula. And I do mean refuse. I tried to put some formula in a sippy cup and he chunked it at me. Chunked!!

So all of that to say, his first birthday is quickly approaching and it will be time to go through the dreaded process of weaning. Well, I don't really know if it is dreaded I've just heard that it's rough. Luckily his pediatrician is a big breastfeeding advocate so she can give me the scoop on what it will do to me. Because I still love it. I love the closeness. How he still 11 months later will just stare into my eyes, with love just pouring out of them. It is the only thing that I have been able to give him that no one else can.

I am purely fascinated at how my body knows exactly what to make for him. His own personal meals created only for him, changing as his needs change. It's remarkable! So I'm ready for the weaning advice to just pour on me, cause Lord knows I need it. I've been slowly replacing nursing meals with baby food, so he only nurses 5 times a day now. I'm pretty certain that the nap and bedtime nursings will be the last to go, and probably the hardest. Uhg. I just got to get the little engine mentality, "I think I can, I think I can."

Cinco Anos???

Let me translate. Five years....... or One thousand, eight hundred and twenty five days. Sixty months. Half a decade. A quarter of a quarter of a century. Depending on how you look at it, it can be a long time or a blink of an eye. For me, it's been a little of both.

As of this Thursday, Chris and I will have been married for five years. Raise your hand if you're shocked it lasted this long. Put it down! I was just kidding. Geeeesss. We've had two kiddos since then, moved twice, graduated from college, survived the police academy (and yes that is a WE thing), bought a car together, bought a house together, had plenty of arguments, but even more laughs. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done, and yet I say that in the highest regards, because if you can believe it that is really the ultimate compliment. Just look at it this way. Michael Phelps would say winning eight gold medals was the hardest thing he ever did, but you wouldn't look at that negatively. Anyway. Rambling.

And yet somehow we missed out on having a honeymoon. We're going to have to change that soon, but probably not until next year. And it won't be any wimpy trip either, we're thinking of leaving the continent!! "Ahhhhhh, I love the smell of Europe in the morning." - Eddie Izzard.

Not to get too mushy, but I never thought love would feel this way. Sometimes it makes me want to rip all my hair out and run screaming down the street. Sometimes it makes me want to stay in a moment for all of eternity. It encompasses the widest spectrum of emotions possible and challenges me daily. It's the greatest gift I've ever received.

So. What's in store for us in the future, besides a belated honeymoon? More kids? Doubtful. I'm hoping for a lifetime of happiness, but that's for the movies. We'll just have to see what life throws at us and then laugh it off later.

Why? Why? Why?

Most people consider me to be a hard ass about allowing what and when Devon can watch tv or movies. And I'll admit it's mostly true. I am especially picky about what she can watch (there are rating for a reason people!) and how often. Most of the time, probably 90%, she doesn't watch tv on school days. Now she only goes in the mornings right now, which is why I am "nice" 10% of the time. But when she does start going to school everyday and eventually has real homework, she will be used to not watching tv on school days and will spend her time after school being a kid and playing, and completing homework. No one will ever be able to convince me that doing otherwise is beneficial. So cut it out! Seriously.

I don't judge people who don't use this same method, so don't worry. It's ok to be different, just respect when others won't agree with you. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing.

I saw a commercial this morning during the news for a new version of the v-smile. For those who don't know what a v-smile is, it's a video game system with games fit for three to six year olds. It is made by v-tech a popular children's educational toy company. When I first saw this a few years ago I instantly asked how much Nintendo or Sony payed to get this product on the shelves.

V-tech claims that it teaches your child while they play, and you know what they're not lying. It does teach the kids. My problem is that it puts kids in more solitary conditions lessening their social skills, and it gets kids used to overly visual based learning. How often do you hear about ADD or ADHD increasing in children. You're three year old can learn the same things the old fashioned way, through playing, being read to, and experiencing the world. A simple trip to the grocery store can replace just about every bit of information your kid will learn from the video games.

Now to the new version of the v-smile. It basically is a preschool version of the Nintendo wii, which I secretly love. The wii, not the v-smile. As a fan of the wii I don't necessarily believe that it is superior because it gets people "active," it's just made for people like me who used to turn their remote control while playing Super Mario Brothers. Basically this v-tech and even leapfrog products state that they can be educational, and immediately people grab them. When did people decide it's ok for a machine to spend so much time teaching our kids? Is this going to create a disconnected generation of people who cling to things instead of people? Or is that what we have already become?

Devon's Gift

Well, Sunday evening Chris and I were discussing whether or not to go out for my birthday. I said no, because we've agreed not to do any spending on the credit card, except for gas. He said my birthday was an exception.

So during our discussion Devon says, "Daddy, are you made at Mommy?"

Chris says, "No. I'm just frustrated."

Then Devon made my day by saying, " You shouldn't be frustrated at Mommy. Mommy is nice to everybody."

This made us all smile. It is so incredible to know that Devon really does notice that I try to be nice to everybody. It was the best birthday present a mom could ask for. I have always heard that kids will be more likely to do what they SEE their parents do. It's not just about telling them how to act, you have to behave too. :)

So in the end, Chris and I went out to dinner while Granny Franny watched the kiddos. But this wasn't any ordinary dinner for us. We went to a place called The Melting Pot, which is a fondue restaurant. It was AWESOME! We had a four course meal that included bread and cheese fondue, salad, a main course fondue, and of course dessert fondue. We were so stuffed by the end. It was pretty pricey though, but a fun experience. I felt very loved that Chris wanted to take me out like that.

Bullies!

Today while I was waiting outside of Devon's classroom with her, waiting for the bell to ring I saw two little boys picking on this little boy, we'll call him C. They were teasing him and calling him stupid. There were two other moms right next to them, but just standing there. When one of them hit C (not hard of course, but that's not the point) I walked over to them and confronted them. It was obvious that they knew they were not being nice and not doing what they should be doing, because as soon as I was over there and started talking to them they put there heads down and avoided eye contact. So I told them to leave C alone because he didn't want to be bothered right now and tried to change the conversation to breakfast. I asked them what they ate and one said toast. I asked "With jelly?" He said "No, they don't have jelly." And that caused the two boys to start talking about something else, so I walked back to the end of the line of students where we were originally standing.

Then I saw them bothering C again. This time I told Devon to come with me and we stood right next to them until the bell rang. Poor little C was sitting on the ground indian style facing the wall, crying. I tried to talk to him, but it was pretty obvious he didn't want to so I just rubbed his back and told him I was going to stay with him. Then the teacher opened the door to let the kids in and I told the little boys to get up and get into the room so they couldn't bother him anymore, well at least for the moment.

I walk Devon and C into class and Devon goes right off to put her backpack up and so does C. I ask the teachers assistant if she knew where C's mother taught, because I had seen her the last couple of days and noticed that she had a school employee badge. Then I dashed to the classroom because it was two minutes until the bell was about to ring and told her that C had a tough time this morning because two little boys had been picking on him and left because I knew she had to get class started. She seemed to appreciate the news.

This whole situation made me MAD! First of all, it's only the third day of school and this poor little four year old is getting picked on by two little boys feeding off of each other. Where do these kids learn to call each other stupid. Devon is four and has never had the urge to call someone a name, much less stupid. And I don't want to hear that boys will be boys, because that is CRAP! Boys will be what you let them be and just because they happen to be boys doesn't mean they have the excuse to behave like turds.

I gotta get going, but there are a couple of positives from this situation. C hopefully now knows that it is not ok for him to be treated like that because someone stood up for him. And Devon hopefully learned that it is ok to if not absolutely necessary to stand up for those who aren't being treated nicely. Actions speak louder than words!

Beautiful Messages

So the other day Chris told me something spontaneously cute that Devon had said while I was sleeping in (until 8:15 in the morning!). He said Devon was at the kitchen table eating breakfast when she just said, "God is in everything. But he's not in my cereal." After I finished laughing, because let's face it that's pretty random, even for Devon, I felt like this "message" spoke to me.

I often feel envious of the folks of the new testament times, where Jesus spoke to people (after the resurrection) and even appeared to them. It seemed to happen often and sometimes I wish he would just plop down on the couch and chat with me. But then I look back at what Devon said. She is four and yet is capable of understanding this very simple and incredible truth that God is in everything.

I can't help but wonder that perhaps it is still possible to have such interactions with God as I so long for. The only thing interfering with this wish is life. It is so easy to be consumed by it. Constantly fretting over what needs to be done today, tomorrow, what are we having for dinner, did I take the trash out, where did I put that receipt, I think it's time to get the oil changed......... It just goes on and on. Our minds are overloaded with clutter about clutter. But Devon who is so lucky to be four hasn't been consumed by all that life throws at you. She is capable of being still and keeping a clear mind for receiving beautiful messages.

I can't help but wonder if perhaps God uses our precious little ones to send us messages that we are no longer capable of receiving. I'll tell you this, I felt compelled to simplify my life to be mindful of what is really important during the day. Do I do it all the time now? No way! But, I do what I can and keep trying when I fail. I am constantly feeling like I need to slow down and enjoy the little things, and often I do. When all is quiet I feel the urge to simply live.

Resurrecting the Old Me

So I'm sure none of you can deny that having kids changes you, as well as being married. Unfortunately, it has created some changes in me that are not so good. I have been suffering from post-partum depression. Yep, I'm ready to admit it to the world. (Obviously.) This means I get the opportunity to sit down with a really rad counselor and talk about me, me, me, and sometimes the family.

We, meaning Chris and I, were a little concerned that just counseling would not be enough and that I would need to get on medication. But this would mean I could no longer breastfeed Matthew. Lots of tears were shed over that possibility, let me tell you. Luckily, just having therapy is making a considerable difference. I am started to think and act like I did five years ago. Don't be so scared, I do remember what I was like five years ago and I assure you, I am merely speaking of my more personable characteristics, such as my since of humor, and love of having "moments" with strangers.

For example, Tuesday afternoon I found myself literally struggling to hold my tongue in the waiting room. I so desperately wanted to lean over towards the only other person there waiting and say, "So. What are you in for?" This was a man, who seemed to send off a big "I'm really into myself, and take myself too seriously" vibe. But I managed to refrain and just worked on my sudoku puzzles. It was really tough though.

I'm sure you're thinking, "Michelle! What a horrible thing to do. How immature?" And to that I say, BINGO! Now I KNOW therapy is working. :)

Kermit Had It Right

It's not easy being green. For all you outsiders, Austin is a hippie city and the majority of the population strives to reduce its' ecological footprint. We are not the greenest city in the states, I mean who can top Portland? But I would guess we are in the top ten. Now I have always been drawn to environmental issues, and even when I lived in the dorms I took recyclables to the landfill. In Austin the green lifestyle can include anything from only riding a bicycle to get around, recycling almost everything, buying organic/local foods, buying organic clothes, composting, using reusable bags when shopping, and I could go on, but I won't. Any everybody differs in their level of greenness.

As for us:

• we use the recycle service from waste management
• we bring things the curbside won't collect to a recycle service downtown,
• we try to limit our energy usage (our whole house has the swirly light bulbs!)
• we have the energy efficient front loading washer
• we use the reusable grocery bags
• we occasionally buy organic, very occasionally
• we use "green" cleaning chemicals

But compared to the city as a whole we are probably at a level five out of ten, maybe a six. But I have turned into "that person" who grumps whenever someone (no names mentioned, but take a guess) puts a plastic container in the trash. ;) And next spring we will hopefully build our garden in the back yard and I can grow my own veggies, YUM! But first we have to wait for the grass to spread out. It's getting there slowly but surely. A little rain would help though!!

No matter how small

I read a story on MSN about a "miracle baby being born twice." Well, being the baby lover that I am I was naturally drawn to the story. Basically, a woman went to have an ultrasound to find out the sex of her baby and there was a tumor attached to the baby the size of a grapefruit!! She had surgery to have the tumor removed from the baby (the article being politically correct called it a fetus, but I'm not going there). The odds that the baby would survive were less than ten percent. The surgeon cut open the mom then opened the uterus to get to the baby where he took most of the baby out to remove the tumor and then closed everything back up. The baby survived (YEAH!) and ten weeks later was "born again."

Here is the link if you want more details. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24999650/?GT1=43001

This story just blows my mind. Medical technology and knowledge is so grand that we can perform surgery on a baby in the womb! This is simply incredible! And now all I can think of to say is a quote from one of Devon's Dr. Seuss books, "A person is a person, no matter how small." (That's from Horton Hears a Who, thanks Jon and Tina!)

You know many of Dr. Seuss's books have an underlying statement or issue attached to them, such as The Lorax being about deforestation. This starts to make me ponder whether he was trying to touch the issue of child abuse or maybe even abortion. But it is also possible that I have no idea what I am talking about. It's been known to happen from time to time.