As most of you know, I'm a big advocate for breastfeeding. Even though I'm broken and can only feed on one side. I wanted to go the full recommended 12 months with Devon but only made it to 9 months because I got thrush and Devon weaned herself. I was pretty bummed.
Then Matthew came along and hasn't really had any issues like Devon, so I have been really hopeful about making it all the way to 12 months. Well, here comes a hurdle and boy is it a whopper. I seem to be producing less milk. So I run to the health food store and grab some good ol' Fenugreek. It helps a little but not enough to relish the side effects.
Matthew nurses every two hours, which is no big deal, I'm used to it and I understand that it is because I can only nurse on one side. It's been this way since we brought him home from the hospital. He would still sleep really well at night, having a first sleep stretch last anywhere from 5 to 9 hours. But the last few weeks, he wakes up every two to three hours at night to nurse. Uhg!
At first it wasn't too bad, but now I am really starting to be effected by this. I'm constantly tired and I'm pretty grumpy throughout the day. Not good for the family. Not good for me. So the idea of giving him a bottle of formula keeps being thrown at me and I really tried to resist. But my well-being is continuing to dwindle and I don't want to be a grumpy Mom or grumpy wife for three more months.
Today I tried to give him a bottle right before his afternoon nap. After twenty minutes of resistance by Matthew I was pooped and caved into nursing him (actually us) to sleep. Then tonight I tried again to give him a bottle to put him down. Still lovingly holding him close and rocking him, but still he resisted. He finally just passed out without drinking anything.
So now I am consumed with guilt. I feel like I just starved the kid and it just doesn't feel right to wean him while he's kicking and screaming (literally). What's a mom to do (*sob*)?
2 comments:
Sorry to hear that Michelle---that's rough. Good luck with the weaning.
I wish I could offer some advice, but Oliver never took to the boob. Too much work. I guess the throughput of a bottle is much easier.
One thing I have read though is if you can get some of your breast milk on the nipple of the bottle, it should help him to take to the bottle. Also try feeding him your breast milk out of a bottle. If I remember correctly, it is the smell of the milk that draws babies more than the difference in nipple.
But I could be completely wrong. You would know more than me.
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